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when we are old and gray we shall look back
and laugh at the pettiness of our youth
days wasted fretting over nonsense
losing sleep over things that could not be helped

and we shall wish that we spent those times celebrating
dancing, laughing and cajoling in sunny meadows
surrounded by friendly faces
not secluded in dark rooms
curtains drawn
hiding from a life that's much too real

Rejoice! The sun is high and there is madness afoot!

follow me...
here, take my hand.




Long ago your words caressed me

bathing me in their sunlight and their warmth,
thousands of brilliantly colored words
showering over me like confetti.

I picked pieces here and there to save
the beautiful words of love you spoke,
and placed them safely in a box
to treasure them forever.

Now I walk alone through empty streets
but I carry you in my heart
and whenever I am lonely
I just close my eyes and dream.


a pirate's wench looks at 40

Congrats! You're now an old fart!
The messages display.
I get notices about burial plots
in my email every day.

But life begins at 40!
My friends they do implore.
You're full of shit I counter
as I mop dog piss off the floor.

Whoever coined that stupid phrase
was obviously off track,
they were taking too much prozac
or smoking lots of crack

Or getting laid three times a day
far from the life I lead.
Monotony and dreary days
and too many mouths to feed.

Its just a number! they declare,
well isn't that just sweet.
I'd never noticed that before.
a number, you say? How neat!

You're only as old as you feel, Jules!
they continue to plead their case.
Shove your self-help propoganda, friends
before I smack you in your face.

I asked my brother what he thought
and honestly he said,
"its all downhill from here my dear
and soon you will be dead."

So I guess I'll open this email
and see how much it'll be
to burn my lifeless body
and dispose of it properly.

And I'd better see a lawyer
and start making out my will
Not that there will be very much
after they pay my bills.

I've had sunny days of youthful joy
and laughter through the night.
but when I look into the mirror now,
I give myself a fright.

I'd like to thank you all so much
for being in my life
although it sucks big time, I'm old,
and I'm surely no ones wife.

I guess I might as well live it up
who knows how long I've got,
before my life is over
and my carcass starts to rot.

So Carpe diem! and Do it Now!
are the phrases for the day;
cause lifes a bitch, and it goes too quick
and thats all I have to say.

Currently reading :
The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead
By David Shields
Release date: By 05 February, 2008


Ode to a Limp Dishrag

Ode to a Limp Dishrag


I feel so blah

I lie in bed

And toss and turn

My troubled head.


I try to relax

And think about sheep

But that just reminds me of cows

Shit I wish I could sleep.


If you were here,

I'd fix you snacks

Like white castle cheeseburgers

And baby backs.


We'd lie in bed

And eat our fill

And then we'd put on the Matrix or something

And just kinda chill.


You'd always have a comeback

For my sarcastic quips

I could be your Gladys Knight

And you could be my Pips.


I don't ask for very much

I'm just a simple girl

Just waitin for my other half

To come and rock my world.



your hands on my skin
your lips touching mine
take every ounce of me
for i am yours

you whisper i love you
and i long to
make this moment last forever

ecstasy i've never known
you take me higher
than any drug
and i am hooked

like the moon pulling the tide
i am drawn to you
and i don't want to resist

if this is but a dream
then let me sleep forever
i dont want to wake
unless i'm in your arms

you are the missing piece
to this puzzling life
and without you
i am unfinished.

for paul. ilu

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My heart was cold and empty
it had grown numb to all the pain
from being broken time after time...
my tears they flowed like rain.

I had given up on finding love
and cupid's cruel swift bow..
began focusing on spinsterhood
with all my cats in tow.

So I flirted on the internet
just to pass the lonely days
After all, my heart was guarded
in a tomb it was encased.

But what is this, thats peering through
the mortar and the stone?
a ray of sunlight shines within
to reach my hearts dark home.

Someone has dared to take the time
to chisel the mortar and bricks?
with razor sharp wit and poetic zeal
and assorted romantic tricks.

Has someone deemed it worthy
to save my lonely heart?
from its solitary prison
that it vowed never to depart?

Although I vowed to fight it
It seems I cannot win.
Your love has won me over,
and vanquished the pain within.

So I step out from the rubble
to feel the sunlight upon my face..
in the warm glow of your universe
I feel I've found my place.

My heart is full and warm now,
with love for your kind soul,
the brave and dashing knight
who rescued me from the cold.

I love you babe.


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hmmm neverending DRAMA

I don't try to hide anything. Anyone can read my livejournal, blogspot, myspace or my msn status messages to find out whats going on in my life. I don't feel the need to be secretive and hide everything from everyone like some people. So why, oh why, is someone trying to hack into my gmail account? If they have something they want to find out, why don't they just ask me?

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bob and sheri RULE

How freaking cool is THIS??
Monday, August 27, 2007 8:53 AM
Subject: Jules! LOVED your blog!!

Hey there--it's Angela from Bob & Sheri!
We got a google alert about your blog (we get notified whenever Bob & Sheri are mentioned online) and I so LOVED reading it!
We'd really like to thank you for writing about the show with a little gift. If you're okay with this, we'd like to send you a Pajamagram. Just email me back with your address, phone number (they FedEx them and a phone # is required) and your size. I'll get one sent off to you asap.
Thanks again for listening and blogging about us!
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getting to the root of the problem

I was listening to a guy on the Bob & Sheri show this morning, talking about how our childhood affects our lives today. We tend to think back and not realize the problems that occurred back then, and how they may affect our future relationships. At first I dismissed the topic, as the guy seemed to be trying really hard to sell his book.  But then he used an example of a lady who kept getting into relationships with weak men because she had feared her father. Now, my father did have a temper but I rarely witnessed it. By the time I came along, he had totally mellowed out. But one thing I did not like about my parents' relationship was the fact that my dad controlled so many aspects of my mothers life. She practically admitted to me she didn't want kids, dad did. So she became a stay home mom, tending to 4 children. He gave her an allowance, he read her mail, he told her who she could and couldn't have over at the house. Hell, he even changed our phone number and wouldn't give her the new one, so that no one would be able to call us!!  Can you say controlling??  He was also very obsessed with his work, and family always seemed to come second, except in his later years.
     I think this really affected me, even though I haven't even thought about it for years and years. Surely this has something to do with the fact that I have always chosen relationships with weak (and mostly younger) men who I could easily control and who were completely devoid of ambition in their careers. I don't want anyone telling me what to do, and I want to do whatever I want to. The thought of a man controlling me in the manner my dad controlled my mom, makes me feel ill.  But these weak men are losers, they're lazy, can't hold a job, can't tell the truth, and they are basically incapable of being faithful. They're easily led astray because they are so weak and stupid. I'm not saying I am perfect, far from it, but incompatibility seems to be the major issue here.  My patterns of who I choose to be with, that is one area that really needs attention.
     Now, I have diagnosed my problem, how the hell do I overcome it?? I really need a strong man who knows what he wants and wouldn't let anything interfere with that, who is a hard worker and wants to provide for his family, and yet also knows that it is a partnership not a dictatorship. I am sure this will involve me becoming more open to compromise and a tad less independent, which will be difficult but honestly, I am so ready for a relationship with someone who is my equal, I would do just about anything!!

PS: The book that was discussed is called Living the Truth: Transform Your Life Through the Power of Insight and Honesty  by Keith Ablow and I ordered it!

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case of the ex

Ok so I am getting ready to leave for my much-needed vacation to the Bahamas on the cruise I won last year. Last night I dreamed that we got there, and there was a FREAK blizzard and about 4' of snow was everywhere, oh yeah and there was a penguin running loose on the ship. Hmm let's hope that doesn't come true, except for the penguin part, that would totally rule. Anyway I leave tomorrow morning and will be back the following Saturday night. Hopefully with a lot more freckles and a lot of happy memories. What happens in the Bahamas stays there right?
Someone posted this on myspace and I had to share it, because I REALLY relate to it....enjoy.

Ex Dictionary

A is for the automobile which he doesn't own.

B is also for brain, which was located between his legs.

C is for the commitment that was never there.

D is for the dildo he didn't know I had.

E is for ego. His was bigger than a hot air balloon.

F is for his faithfulness, as long as there wasn't something or someone
better to do.

G is also for the spot he could never find!

H is for laughter (HA! HA!) the last sound he heard from me as he was
walking out the door.

I is for impotent which is what I told everyone he was.

J is for jugular, the one I'd love to sever.

K is for kinky, he always started without me.

L is for love in most cases, but exceptions have been made, L is for
LOSER in this case, along with LUSH and LITTLE DICK.

M is for MAN. Has anyone been able to find one? Have you ever met one?
Do you know where any are?

N is for the narcotics. He drove me past alcohol.

O is for the orgasms he thought he made me have.

P is for PAYBACKS. Remember they are HELL!

Q is for queer. I sometimes wonder if he is.

R is for the hopeless romantic he said he was. He was half right. He was
hopeless, not to mention worthless.

S is also for satisfied, which he rarely made me feel.

T is for typical. Typical little boy playing at being a man.

U is also for the ugly girl he is dating now.

V is for the voodoo doll I made of him.

W is for wife, the one he said he didn't have.

X is what he is to me now!!!!

Y is for WHY the hell did I ever get involved with him.

Z isn't for anything, just like him, he ain't anything either.
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