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Ode to a Limp Dishrag Part 2

My family gets on my nerves,
my kids they drive me nuts.
I hate softball I wish it would end
and I hate roger's guts.

Yeah.. I had a great vacation
my life's a dreadful bore.
at times I wish I was someone else
(a drunken slutty whore.)

Instead I'm me and the monotony
of my life is a constant pain.
where are the surprises, the heart-pounding moments
that take my breath away?

I need an exciting distraction
besides spacing all day long,
but secretarial work is so thrilling
it makes me want to buy a bong.

I workout and sweat with vigor,
get those endorphins pumping through my veins...
but then my kids start whining
and my good mood goes down the drain.

But for all the crap and misery
I suppose it could be worse...
I could lose my ability to speak my mind
and be unable to shout and curse.

I know that I am lucky
in some ways, I guess its true
I have all my appendages
and my sight and hearing too.

I guess I will quit whining
and get back to filing shite.
and pray that something fun happens soon
before I float into the light.

I'll try to be optimistic
though for the life of me I can't see why...
shit happens, you pay taxes out the ass,
and then you slowly die.

Perhaps today will be the day
I win a brand new car...
or get a letter in the mail
that came from very far.

So send me sparkly comments
to have a wonderful smiley day...
and hugs and lots of xxxx's
and 'happy thoughts' my way.

I'll be expecting lots of blog comments
and kudos up the rear.
because the wrath of the muffin
is something you should fear.

*muffin sends sparkly shiny happy thoughts your way*


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